UNDER CONSTRUCTION: The Living Room

Friday, February 22, 2008

The Living Room

Then we decided it was time to work on the Living Room. We wanted somewhere to, um, live, and we wanted to soften the scare factor when people first walked into the house. Not that the wallpaper and the carpet you see here aren't lovely, but, you know.

First we tore out the ceiling so that we could run the wiring. Horrible messy business that is. Then we ripped off the wallpaper and pulled up the carpet. The walls are all brick covered with plaster, and we had quite a bit of plaster patching to do.

Then, of course, we ran all electrical wiring, drywalled the ceiling, painted the walls and ceiling and refinished the hardwood floor. As you can see we need to get some matching trim made, but for now I have cleverly arranged my furniture so the gaps in the trim don't show. Brilliant, right?

Finally we filled the room up with junk and started using it! Wow, there really is alotta stuff in there. In my defense though, this is just about the only room we have available for putting stuff, so.....

11/13/04 - 2/8/05

7 comments:

shannan said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; February 23, 2008 1:11 PM
shannan said...: Wow! It was cool to see the transformation of the Living Room. I don't know if I was ever in that room when it was in the "before" stage. I was in there during a "between" stage, but to compare the before and after is amazing. Your house is becoming quite a nice, comfortable home. You guys have incredible patience.; February 23, 2008 1:23 PM
Marta said...: Hey! I didn't know you had a blog!! It's great to see how you're doing! The house looks great, and I know you've put a ton of work into it!!! Tell Richard hello for me!!; February 24, 2008 10:46 AM
Naco said...: W-O-W. I haven't seen the house since that time we roasted marshmellows? in your backyard. It looks AWESOME. I'm so glad you have a blog! Now we can be blog buddies! Miss you guys!; February 26, 2008 1:50 PM
nava_jo said...: Whoa, I'm totally impressed! I remember the house when we first got there, you guys have been busy for some time now! Well its turning out to be BEAUTIFUL. THanks for having a blog so i can check in anytime I am missing you two! :); February 28, 2008 9:55 PM
Lillian said...: Wow, you guys have determination. That's awesome. Hang in there!; February 29, 2008 10:13 AM
Julie said...: It is looking GREAT! I want a tour in real life one of these days!; October 17, 2008 6:56 AM

Old House Delusion Disease

More than once I have had my brain paralyzed by what psychiatrists call Old House Delusion Disease (OHDD). My wife and I bought an old house that had every known old-house problem, including termites, not to mention a grand total of one closet, and an entire room that had no electrical outlets -- a clear indication that the house was not built by or for people with a need for, say, lighting. Were we discouraged?

No! We thought it was quaint!

Here's how delusional we were. We had plumbing problems (of course), and in an effort to fix a leak, some plumbing guys were crawling around under our house. They emerged holding some yellowed, crumbling, rolled-up newspapers, which they'd found wrapped around our pipes, apparently as insulation. We carefully unwrapped one of the newspapers and found that it was a Miami Herald from 1927. It had a story in it about Charles Lindbergh.

So there we were, confronted with stark evidence that our pipes, in addition to leaking, were very old. It's like being aboard a boat in the middle of the Pacific and discovering that not only were you sinking, but also your hull was made entirely of Triscuits.

How did we react to this horrible news? We were thrilled! Charles Lindbergh! It was so charming! The plumbers were also very excited, but in their case it was because they knew we would be putting all their children through Harvard.

Our House Delusion Disease is very powerful. Usually, when you buy an old house, you hire professional house inspectors. These inspectors are very thorough: They spend a whole day crawling around the house, and then they give you a detailed, written report, which says "Do not buy this house, you idiot!"

Love Is Blind

Not in so many words, of course. The report breaks the house down by major defects, then sub-defects. The house, according to the report, consists entirely of defects. You read the report, but because you have OHDD, none of it actually penetrates your brain, even when the inspector goes out of his way to warn you about serious problems:

INSPECTOR: I want to show you something in the living room ...

YOU: Don't you love that room? It has such character! The molding!

INSPECTOR: About the molding -- I wanted you to see this. (The inspector takes a screwdriver and taps it against the molding. The molding disappears in a smokelike puff of wood particles. Then a large part of the wall itself collapses, leaving a gaping hole, through which can be seen, in the gloom, an exposed wire that periodically emits a shower of sparks, illuminating a dripping pipe covered with green slime. A rat darts by, pursued by what seems to be a boa constrictor.)

YOU: Ha ha! These quirky old houses! That can be repaired, right?

INSPECTOR: Well, I suppose it could, if you're willing to ...

YOU: I'm not worried about cosmetic problems, as long as the house is structurally sound. (You stamp your foot on the floor to emphasize this point. Your foot goes through the floor.)

INSPECTOR: Um, that's another thing. Your floor joists have been almost entirely eaten away.

YOU: (retracting your foot) Termites? No biggie! A lot of these old houses have termites! We can just have it treated by ...

INSPECTOR: Actually, it's beavers. They're building a dam in the basement.

YOU: (silence)

INSPECTOR: I've never seen that before.

YOU: (recovering) Well, the kids have been wanting a pet!

At this point the inspector, who has dealt with OHDD before, gives up and edges out of the room, taking care not to put too much weight on any one part of the floor.

You, of course, buy the house. As a true OHDD victim, you would buy this house if it were on fire. Once it's yours, you begin calling what will become a never-ending parade of highly paid craftsmen, who will spend so much time at your house that eventually they will become a part of your family, and invite you to attend all their children's graduations from college.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Friday, February 22, 2008

The Living Room

7 comments:

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Home Sickness by Dave Barry

Old House Delusion Disease

Love Is Blind